Why I Stopped Drinking — And Why I’ll Never Go Back
I once read a quote that stopped me in my tracks:
“People aren’t addicted to alcohol or drugs. They’re addicted to escaping reality.”
That sentence hit harder than any hangover ever did.
When I stopped drinking for good — over 30 years ago — something uncomfortable surfaced. Alcohol wasn’t the problem. I was. Or more accurately, my life was. Alcohol had simply been my escape hatch.
Once I made a non-negotiable deal with myself — I will never drink again — I lost my exit door. No numbing. No switching off. No pretending things were fine when they weren’t. I had two choices:
Sit in a life I hated… or fight like hell to change it.
So I changed everything.
I walked away from a high-risk policing career. I rebuilt myself as an artist. I changed my environment, my habits, how I spent my time, and slowly — painfully — repaired the physical and spiritual damage I’d done. And something unexpected happened along the way.
I stopped wanting to escape.
Today, alcohol feels like it belonged to another lifetime. Not because I think I’m “stronger” than it — but because I like my life too much to leave it.
And the science now backs up what I felt intuitively back then: alcohol was never harmless. Not even close.
The Big Lie: “Alcohol Is Good for You”
For decades we were told:
A glass of wine is good for the heart
Red wine contains antioxidants
Moderate drinking is safe
That story has collapsed under real research.
A large Oxford University study (2014–2020), involving 25,378 participants, found that any amount of alcohol increases the risk of brain shrinkage, cognitive decline, and heart damage — even at “moderate” levels
Health Benefits of Alcohol
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So much for “just one a day.”
The antioxidants in wine (like resveratrol) don’t cancel out alcohol’s toxicity. That’s like saying adding parsley to a cigarette makes smoking healthy.
What Alcohol Actually Does Inside the Body
Alcohol is treated as a toxin, because it is one.
Once consumed, it’s converted in the liver into acetaldehyde — a highly toxic compound that:
Damages liver cells
Creates oxidative stress
Generates free radicals
Accelerates aging
This toxic process affects more than the liver. Alcohol has been shown to:
Shrink brain cells
Increase dementia risk
Raise blood pressure
Trigger arrhythmias
Increase cardiovascular disease risk
Health Benefits of Alcohol
And no — “drinking less” doesn’t magically undo this. Damage is dose-dependent, but there is no safe threshold.
Alcohol and Weight Loss: The Metabolic Handbrake
If you’re trying to lose weight, alcohol doesn’t just slow you down — it hits pause.
The liver always prioritises clearing alcohol before burning fat. That means:
Fat burning stops
Ketosis shuts down
Recovery is delayed
Depending on how much you drink, fat burning can be blocked for up to 48 hours after a single session
Alcohol
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Alcohol also delivers 7 calories per gram — nearly as calorie-dense as fat — while offering zero nutritional value.
Even “low-carb” alcohol still stalls progress. Your body can’t burn fat while it’s busy detoxifying ethanol.
Why People Defend Alcohol So Hard
Here’s the uncomfortable truth:
People don’t defend alcohol because it’s healthy.
They defend it because it’s socially protected escape.
Alcohol:
Temporarily reduces anxiety
Numbs emotional discomfort
Creates a false sense of relaxation
But the bill always comes due — in sleep disruption, mood swings, inflammation, liver stress, and long-term health decline.
Alcohol doesn’t solve stress. It borrows relief from tomorrow.
Healthier Alternatives (Without Preaching)
For those reducing or quitting, research-backed tools can help mitigate damage or ease transition:
Kombucha (social ritual without toxicity)
Kudzu root extract (craving reduction)
L-glutamine (blood sugar and craving support)
Milk thistle (liver protection)
Strategic fasting (oxidative stress recovery)
Health Benefits of Alcohol
None of these replace doing the inner work — but they support the body while you do.
Sobriety Isn’t Deprivation. It’s Freedom.
I don’t avoid alcohol because I’m afraid of it.
I avoid it because I don’t want to leave the life I’ve built.
Sobriety didn’t make life smaller.
It made it honest.
And honesty, as it turns out, is far more intoxicating than any drink ever was.
